I Just Don't Even Know a Title for this Extremely Long Post

I am going to take advantage of "blogtherapay" and go on about things that have happened and things that are happening without giving to many details. I am such a verbal person, I totally have to talk out my problems and ideas....it is the only way I can get this mind of mine in order! I don't expect anyone to read every detail of this post, because we all know I don't read everyone word of the long posts these days! This is really for my own gain. Ready Set Go...

While discussing the many decisions Chad and I have been in the thought process of making, Chad says, "We just need a crystal ball, to show us what would happen if...."! I could not agree more. Don't get us wrong here, we really want to do what God wants us to, but we are just waiting for those doors to open and close and for the Voice to say it loud and clear. I even had this spiritual experience the other day that may not sound like a big deal but, to me it was eye opening and peaceful. I was jetting to Harry's daycare at 6:45 pm to pick up the chili dinners we bought for a fund raiser. The doors close at 7 and Chad had just got home from work. It was Thursday and I was staying home with our baby who had just been given the shot from "you know where", and the day seemed to keep me off my feet and needless to say Harry's did not touch the floor. We literally sat on the couch all day reading and sleeping, well him sleeping. Anyway, while driving I decided to pray out loud, I start my prayer off with," God, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know I just don't know" then all of the sudden I had this urge to say, "God, you are good, your love endures for ever, God you are good, your love endures forever" I am repeating this all the way to the parking lot, I almost felt like I couldn't stop saying it out loud. It was such an odd experience but, gave me a sense of peace. Peace. Most of you have picked up or know the whole me working and staying at home story.....why I am why I am not etc...

I will give you a quick briefing:

We knew that for us to feel financially secure I would have to at least work part time, well part time teacher jobs do not come easy or come at all. I had a lead and then that door closed, I am not bitter...anymore. I dreaded the day of going back without really dwelling on it, does that make sense? I assumed that my days at work would be miserable, I would just go "clock in and clock out" and then give all I had to my Harry. Thank God, it didn't happen that way. Literally, God showed me that his plan is good and to trust him. This year teaching has been my best year yet. I am crazy about my kids, I have tons of energy, I love my coworkers, administrators, Harry is a block from my school, I visit him every day, his teachers and I are friends, I can leave early some days at 1:45, God is definitely good! I have felt like I have so much energy at the end of the day and giving it to Harry has been easy. I have a great support group and the positive reinforcements have been huge. It is just so funny that I thought this would for sure be my last year teaching and I would be staying at home with Harry next year and that would be that. I have found myself at a fork. I really need to make the decision before Christmas to make teaming next year easier for my administrators. "I just don't know!" One day I am leaning towards making it work for me to stay with Harry all day and then I catch myself wondering if I would feel complete staying at home full time. I do not feel the need to justify myself nor do I feel guilt. Don't get me wrong, their are days where I look in my rear view mirror after picking him up and feel a sense of guilt. Most of those days were the first few weeks he started. Since then, I have felt a wholeness. I think I have made my decision, I just need another sign to reinforce it.

Another door has opened, we just don't know! If I wrote it all out, it sounds like a no brainer, but then again I just don't know! I will throw that one at you later.

Harry vs. Ear Infection Part 5! Harry has been getting those very painful shots, you moms who have experienced know what I am talking about. He has an appointment with the Ear Nose and Throat specialist on Wed. I am going to beg for tubes. The shots are so bad, that he screams for 20 minutes afterwards! I can't help but count our blessings. I can't imagine how the parents of Ethan or parents of other sick babies are feeling. I think God must give them a million angels, they are so strong.

We missed HU Homecoming, Chad was super bummed. We are also sad we do not get to meet Miss Laila !

With all that being said, these are all great problems to have, well except the Harry ear infection one. I know that God has blessed us to even have these decisions to make. In actually they are not even problems. God is good, His love endures forever.

Just for fun, I took this fro to Harry's class and took pictures of all his friends and teachers in it! I hate to make a post without a picture!

Oh and thanks to Shannon and Kathy for the constant reinforcement that prayer works.

I should have some more details on all the above next week! Peace Love and Prayer